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Emotional Intelligence Skill-Building: Begin From Within to Shape the Foundation for Success

By: Byron A. Stock Click author's name for more of his/her articles

Emotional Intelligence (EI) skill is the ability to attain and apply information from your emotions and the emotions of other people. This ability can be either learned or innate. It provides you with the information to help you make better choices about what actions to take (or not take) in any given circumstance.

Emotional Intelligence consists of several competencies which fall into two categories. They are either intrapersonal or interpersonal. Intrapersonal competencies exist within the individual while interpersonal competencies occur between individuals. The competencies build logically upon each other. The interpersonal competencies are built upon a strong foundation of intrapersonal competencies.

EI skill must be built from the inside out. It begins with the individual, developing the intrapersonal skills of emotional self-awareness, self-regulation and self-motivation. With high levels of these skills, individuals are more likely to recognize other's emotions and social cues. With this knowledge they are more likely to successfully manage relationships. In other words, effective interpersonal skills depend upon enhanced levels of intrapersonal skills.

INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS

Emotional Self-Awareness
Emotional self-awareness makes it possible for you to recognize your feelings in-the-moment. With this knowledge, you are better able to understand how these feelings affect you, others and your job performance.

Emotional Self-Regulation
Emotional self-regulation allows you to choose the feelings you wish to experience. It blocks you from becoming a victim of whatever emotions may erupt as a result of an emotionally charged situation. Goleman notes that self-regulation "frees us from being prisoners of our feelings" (Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1995, Bantam Books).

Emotional Self-Motivation
Even in the face of extreme adversity or difficulty, self-motivated people use their emotions to take positive action. They are persistent in pursuing goals, drawing on positive feelings of confidence enthusiasm and optimism rather than second-guessing decisions and dwelling on negative feelings.

INTERPERSONAL COMPETENCIES

Empathy
Upon establishing a strong base of the first three intrapersonal competencies, you are more likely to be able to positively influence interactions with others. Empathy is a core competency in today's economy where cross-cultural sensitivity, teamwork, and mentoring and coaching are essential.

Managing Relationships (Social Skill)
To manage relationships effectively, people must exhibit sincere care and empathy toward others. They must be able to channel their emotions in useful ways to motivate themselves and others. This is not about manipulation. Rather it is about setting a positive tone of cooperation no matter how emotionally charged the circumstances are. It is about focusing on achieving goals to create win-win outcomes while having other's best interests at heart.

Where Do You Start?

Begin by enhancing emotional self-awareness. Strength in this competency increases the likelihood of developing strong skill in the other competencies. Initial steps you can take include…
- Notice and name your emotions - this gives you information that helps you to determine what you should or should not say or do in various circumstances.
- Identify triggers to negative emotions - these can be people or situations that regularly trigger a strong, negative emotional response. Just being aware of these triggers and your typical response will help you regulate your emotions when you are confronted with them in the future. (Notice you've just started to work on enhancing emotional self-regulation, the second EI competency.)
- Determine those things and people that are important to you in your life. Recall the positive feelings you experience when you think about these things. Make it a point to revisit these positive emotions as often as possible. This will evoke more positive energy. And research shows that thinking is clearer and better decisions are made when emotions are positive.

People frequently say that "good people skills" are the critical traits of an outstanding leader. But in reality the person the leader is most skilled at handling is themselves. They develop themselves from the inside out. The good news is that all of these competencies can be systematically learned, developed and enhanced.

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

About The Author: Specializing in the area of Emotional Intelligence training, Byron Stock is dedicated to making work a place where people flourish and productivity improves. Typical improvements in personal goals range from 30% to 50%. Visit www.ByronStock.com to learn about Byron's quick, simple, proven techniques to harness the power of your Emotional Intelligence.