How to Get Your Child to Trust You

Everyone knows how frustrating it is to have a child who misbehaves wherever you go, and those who have not yet had children have probably experienced the poor raising of other parents while they shake their head in annoyance at the children in the seat behind them acting up. Every parent wishes they could magically control their child, but the fact is that it’s not that difficult to raise an obedient, well-mannered child. You have to be aware of a few principles, and know how to deal with certain problems.

The first problem is trust. Most children don’t actually trust their parents. Why is this? Because the parents are too lenient, and do not follow up with their promises. How many times have you heard a frustrated mother tell their child in the grocery store that if he doesn’t put the toy back she’s going to spank him, and when the child boldly refuses, she rolls her eyes, snatches the toy out of his hands, and puts it back? This is easy to do, but it’s a serious no-no. The first rule is that you should always do what you say you will. If you threaten to ground a child for doing something, and he or she does it, you have to ground them, and it’s important that you follow-through like this every single time.

You have to understand that every time you don’t follow up on a threat or promise you make, your child is losing trust and respect in you. From a child’s point of view, all they are seeing is that you are claiming you’ll do one thing, and end up doing something completely and totally different. This leads the child to believe that your word cannot be trusted, and that their chances of getting away with things are much higher. Following up on everything you say that you will can be extremely difficult, but it’s of the highest importance. – Failing even once in doing so will lead your child to believe that there is a chance that they can get away with more. If you always make sure to stick with your word, your child will know that he can trust it, and respect you.

The next problem parents face is public embarrassment. Too many parents let their children get away with acting like a brat in pubic because they are embarrassed, and feel like it would be even more humiliating to punish the child in front of other people. This has to be overcome. Yes, punishing your child in public is a little embarrassing, but it’s something every parent has to deal with. Letting that child walk all over you, however, is not, and it is much more embarrassing.

A lot of parents seem to be under the impression that a child naturally misbehaves in public despite any punishment that might ensue, and that it is easier to allow the child to throw a tantrum. This is a completely absurd and false notion. If you make sure to discipline your child the very first time they ever start acting up in public, their chances of repeating this are much, much slimmer. By making sure you stay on top of the situation again the next time they do it will let them know you are serious. – This makes it certain that in the future, you’ll be able to quench minor fits before they turn into a full-fledged temper tantrum. After all, do you want your child to act up for years, or for just those first few times?

The bottom line is that the worst thing you can do when your child misbehaves is to let it pass unpunished. It may seem like it is harsh or unloving, but it is just the opposite – when you punish your child, they are learning, and the message is that some things are not socially acceptable. This will make their life easier as well as yours. Remember that what you’re trying to do here is build trust – your child’s trust that you will uphold your word, no matter what you say. If you can do this, then you will find yourself with a much better behaving child.