How to Save Your Relationship wtih Robust Self-Esteem

By: Joe Koh Click author's name for more of his/her articles

Loving healthy relationships are all about balance. Healthy relationships have give and take in equal measure from and to both healthy partners in that relationship. Self-sacrifice and doing things for your partner is great and it is not a criticism, but ask yourself, are you all give and no take?

Women in particular are quite often this way. Everybody needs adequate self-love and strong self-esteem so that relationships become positive and balanced in terms of give and take. Too much give and not enough take often leads to resentment in relationships.

We will feel that our needs are not being met when we do not hold ourselves in healthy self-esteem yet focus all our effort on our partner. This in turn leads to resentment of the other person and the relationship as a whole.

Resentment is the enemy of love as the giver withdraws to nurse the vacuum in their relationship. It does not have to be this way if we take time to appreciate our selves, our achievements and our personality traits.

Being gentle with yourself and being generous towards your own life may, at first, seem like selfishness. However the truth is that unless we are OK with ourselves we cannot be OK with anybody.

Love yourself enough and that love can spread outward to everybody around you. Start saving your relationship with these effective self-esteem builders.

1. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Look to your diet and eat more REAL food, especially plants. Real food is anything with five or fewer ingredients or does not come in a package. Refined foods are particularly unhealthy such as white sugar, white bread and saturated fats.

Look too, to your energy output in terms of exercise. Thirty minutes of vigorous exercise every day, particularly before breakfast, will benefit your system, your body shape, your mental attitude and your sleep pattern.

2. Talk to yourself nicely, then write your thoughts down on a piece of paper. The mind is a very limited computer. It can only hold one or two ideas at a time in our short-term memory. It is thereby very prone to repetition and circular trapped thinking.

By writing or drawing out your ideas you can exorcise repetitive thoughts and move on to develop your mind and attitude. Listen to you inner voice. When you make a mistake for instance, do you berate yourself for stupidity even calling yourself offensive names?

If you treat yourself and talk to yourself in the same way you talk to a child just learning the way of the World, then you will have a self-loving attitude.

3. Take time out from all the duties of daily life to meditate and reflect alone and in a calming situation. Reflect upon the modalities of your thoughts. Modalities are things like the color of the images in your mind's eye, or the soundtrack that goes with your thoughts.

See what happens to your feelings when you deliberately change your modalities. By draining bad memories of color, dissociating from them and making them smaller we can reduce the pain they give us.

By giving our thoughts about ourselves credit and, by making our 'mind-movies' colorful, larger and with a fun soundtrack we can feel better about ourselves. Meditation puts joy back into life.

4. Be sure to treat yourself both physically and intellectually. You are a good person, doing your best against life's trials. You deserve what ever you feel will be good for you.

When you care and promote your own inner joy and good feeling, you will be able to share it with your partner and save your relationship.

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

About The Author: Joe Koh has helped couples build healthy relationships. Learn how to give and take in equal measure and save your relationship by claiming your free report here