Intergenerational Gay Dating: Older Men for Younger Men

By: Robert H. Hawkins .... Click on the author's name to view their profile and articles!!!

"To each his own," my mother used to say, and as long as you're not hurting anyone--who am I to judge?

This is not a scientific study, but rather a summary of observations I've made about younger men for older men over the past two years while working for an online gay dating service.

Also, I will only discuss with adults over 18 that express an interest in intergenerational gay dating.

While working on an online relationships site, I've noticed an fascinating occurrence of intergenerational gay dating. I'm not sure how many gay men are attracted to other adult men of significantly different ages. But I've definitely noticed that there are a lot of mature men seeking less mature men, and plenty of younger men who want to meet older men as well. Someone might have detailed statistics on how many men are into intergenerational gay relationships, but through discussions and contacts, I've heard some very interesting insights.

Some younger guys tell me that they've been attracted to older men since they first realized they had same sex attractions. Likewise, they often report sensing that many older men seemed to be similarly attracted to them. Younger guys who are attracted to mature men have told me that they sometimes feel alone with these feelings, and that even their closest pals don't sympathize so much.

I've even spoken to one guy in his 40's who tells me that as he grows older, he's attracted exclusively to guys 20 years or more his senior! The guys around my age (and even some older) who are attracted to older men have told me that what attracts them most for younger men for older men is that they are more sophisticated, experienced, and level-headed than others in their generation.

Conversely, I've also had some in-depth discussions with a couple of older men for younger men. They explain to me that they feel more comfortable with younger, more energetic and optimistic partners... and that finally, they've been lucky enough to find younger guys who reciprocate their feelings.

Now, I have to point out one thing that came up in nearly every talk I've had. A lot of older men seem to be nervous that younger men view them only as sugar daddies. Interestingly, a lot of younger men seemed nervous about the same thing.... that they would be perceived as beggars, on the hunt for a rich gay sugardaddy. It seems that in these trouble times, suspicion gets the better of everybody. Again, who am I to criticize the motives of others? As long as you're not exploiting anyone....

Most interesting to me of all is that with all the solitude they deal with, they actually are out for a real relationship... or at the very least a genuine no-strings-attached encounter. But money grubbing is the last thing on their minds.

It's a simple matter of "to each his own," and thankfully the Internet has been able to bring the members of this community, with their intergenerational adult feelings, together.

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This is not a detailed research report, but rather a summary of observations I've made over the past two years while working for an online gay dating service.

Also, I will deal here only with adults over 18 that express an interest in intergenerational gay relationships. It seems there is gay attraction of many younger men for older men

Robert Hawkins is a Stanford graduate computer scientist. Over the past few years while working for a dating service, he's been fascinated by the dynamics of online relationships, and has collected many interesting observations about intergenerational gay dating. More at www.intergengay.com/

Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author, Robert H. Hawkins