Is Santa Real? What to Tell the Kids

By: D Howard Click author's name for more of his/her articles

My sister has never forgiven me for telling her the truth about Santa Claus. She was only in kindergarten when I let the cat out of the bag, taking away the myth of the jolly old elf who delivered toys and goodies every Christmas and replacing it with the harsh reality that there's no toy shop at the North Pole and reindeer can't really fly. I thought I was sharing a big secret. She thought I was taking away the magic of Christmas.

I don't remember her reaction, but she remembers it well. She was devastated and cried. And now, more than three decades later, she still likes to remind me of how I destroyed her childhood innocence. It's become a joke between us, one of those enduring childhood tales that gets retold at family gatherings almost every year, but now that we both have children, I realize just how young she was when I broke the spell and just what I took from her that day.

My daughter is three and my son is eight at the time of this writing, so Santa's magic is still alive and well at our home. My son has starting making comments that indicate he might be starting to question Santa's existence, but he still believes. I'm glad. I'm sure that someday much too soon someone will let him in on the the greatest secret of childhood and he'll come to us to ask the dreaded question: Is Santa real?

What will I say?

I've learned that sometimes the best way to deal with to sensitive questions is another question: What do YOU think? Often kids don't want or need a big explanation. A simple answer is often enough to keep them happy. It reminds me of the joke about the boy who asked his mom where he came from and she lectured him about the birds and the bees. When she finished he said, "But where did I come from? My friend Johnny is from Chicago."

So my first response will be to ask what he thinks. If he's not ready to let go of the magic, I will let him continue to believe. But if he's noticed that Santa Claus couldn't possibly be at multiple shopping malls for photos at the same time and realized it's impossible to fly around the world in a single evening, then I'll tell him the truth.

Is Santa real? No, he's not real in the way that he's depicted in cartoons and marketing campaigns and images of him flying through the sky with magic reindeer. But he is real in many other ways, and those are the ones that count. That's why I still believe in Santa. Today's Santa comes from the real-life generosity of Saint Nicholas, who spent his life helping children and the poor. His compassion and generosity set a shining example for people around the world who have translated his good deeds into the legend of Santa Claus.

I also believe we are always given gifts in life when we try our best, play well with others, and use our best manners. These are qualities Santa looks for when deciding who goes on the Nice list and who goes on the Naughty list. But we don't need have to wait to get on Santa's list to practice these traits. We simply need to remember that we'll be rewarded every day for behaving in ways Santa would approve. The rewards may not come in boxes, bags, or bows, but they will come in the form of love, happiness, joy and friendship.

I also believe in the magic of Santa's spirit. I believe life is magical, miraculous and mysterious, just like Santa, but only to those who are willing to believe. In our small world that is also full of hunger, hatred, poverty and grief, the magic of life disappears as soon as you choose to stop believing. Belief in magic takes patience and care. Many people have lost the ability to see small miracles that happen each day because they no longer believe in the inherent goodness of life.

Is Santa real? Yes, in many ways, he is. He is a real symbol for many important things in life. I only hope that when my children find out Santa's merely a symbol for these, they won't be too disappointed. The world would be a much sadder place without Santa Claus. I was too young to realize the importance of Santa when I stole the magic from my sister, but I hope I am old enough now to pass on the wonder to my children.