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Overcome a Fear of Rejection and Poor Self Esteem

By: Royane Real Click author's name for more of his/her articles

Does getting rejected by somebody really bother you? Do you have a low sense of self esteem?

When people have poor self esteem, they worry a lot about rejection. Every rejection from another person hurts a lot more if you deeply reject yourself.

A good, realistic sense of self esteem is essential for good relationships. A good sense of self esteem will keep you from crashing emotionally when another person rejects you.

If you fear social rejection, you will be too timid to reach out to others. You won’t have the courage to be outgoing and try to make new friends if you are afraid that other people will reject you. If your self esteem is currently low, you will need to find ways to improve the way you view yourself.

You need to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like you under all circumstances. Not everyone is going to like the package you come in, especially on first meeting you. Every person you meet has a unique patterns of likes and dislikes which were formed long before they met you. You don’t have to condemn yourself as a failure if it seems that someone else doesn’t like you.

If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn’t like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.

You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a huge zest for life. There are many people to whom your extra pounds will literally be invisible. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wit, and the package it comes in is not important.

If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends, keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty in their friends.

Here is an easy way to remind yourself of what your good qualities are: write down a list of your good qualities and review it often. Don’t just think in your mind about what your good qualities might be, actually make the effort to write the list. The act of writing helps to reinforce the strength of the ideas in your mind. Don’t be embarrassed to give yourself credit for your good points.

If you don’t have any idea what your good points might be, you might want to ask some of the people you know.

When you compile your list of good qualities, be as generous in your praise as your best friend in the whole wide world would be! If you don’t have any best friends yet, imagine in your mind a wise and loving friend who knows you truly and appreciates you. What would that person say are your good points?

When you are out there meeting people, look at your list and remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you have. It’s only a matter of time before you meet other people who will appreciate them too!

Learn to relax and accept yourself. Instead of berating yourself for some perceived shortcoming, concentrate on the good things you have to offer. Realize that there is an audience for your particular combination of gifts, and go looking for those people who will appreciate them.

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

About The Author: This article was written by friendship expert Royane Real If you have a fear of getting rejected, download her short report “How to Overcome Your Shyness and Your Fear of Rejection and Have the Friends and Lovers You've Always Wanted” at www.lulu.com/real