Satisfying Senior Sex Sometimes Means Making a Different Effort

By: Pat Wiklund Click author's name for more of his/her articles

It may be difficult to accept you can't be the sexual giant, or giantess, you used to be.

Especially if intercourse can no longer be a part of your lovemaking.

But, at our age, your body gets to run the show, not your wishes or hopes.

And, it's not enough to have "good communication" when dealing with the changes of aging. Good communication has shifted from necessary to "necessary but insufficient."

Especially when it comes to dealing with ED.

Talking about ED, while necessary and really important, won't cure it.

Talking is not enough.

Nor is love.

Love is really important, but you can't love ED out of existence.

Love is what will keep you going, hold you together as you tackle ED together, and work at making your lovemaking reflect your loving feelings, rather than stand up to traditional standards of what it should be.

The sad fact is though, love is not enough.

Nor is doing what comes naturally. I've often said to clients who are struggling, "Just because love making is perfectly natural, doesn't mean it's naturally perfect."

No one is born knowing how to make love. And, even if we were great at it when we were younger, someone changed the playbook. What may have worked in the past may well not get the same results now.

For either of you.

Much younger lovers find their sexual responses flow effortlessly from feeling aroused to being physically aroused.

Not so for those of us of a certain age. Now it takes effort to go from feelings to physical arousal. Not because we're uninterested, but because both men and women have fewer hormones than when we were younger.

Older men and women need much more direct physical stimulation. Whether manual, oral, or both, we need lots more direct genital stimulation to become aroused enough to achieve intercourse.

And, for lots of older women, even lots of direct stimulation isn't enough to achieve sufficient lubrication to have intercourse comfortably.

Fortunately, we're reaping the benefits of having lots of Boomers wanting to continue being sexual as they age. Their numbers alone have pushed the market to start supplying the products they're needing and wanting to buy.

Toiletries/personal care product companies have responded to their needs with a wide variety of "personal lubricants" (or goo as many couples call it) to make intercourse more comfortable and pleasurable for us old fogies.

As an added plus, I have it on good report that many men find using it an aphrodisiac on it's own. It's a turn on to use it!

But, mostly, a lot of us missed the sexual revolution that folks younger than us took for granted.

And, we don't know about or understand the sexual response cycle, both how it works and how we can make our sexual life better by developing better sexual skills.

Developing more understand and skills means putting in some time learning more about your body, and deciding together what you need to do to bring more enjoyment into your lovemaking.

Practicing new loving skills and activities takes time. Yes, maybe even the ones you hadn't considered as things people like you would do, or the ones that might make your mother blush.

Last time I looked, mom wasn't in your bedroom.

So, get started now for much better senior sex.

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

About The Author: Thinking and worrying about how our bodies aren't what they used to be gets in the way of satisfying senior sex. We need to take action. Sex Therapist Dr. Pat Wiklund has helped countless couples increase the satisfaction they experience with their intimate life. Claim your complimentary copy of her latest audio learning program with secrets and suggestions for more satisfying love'n. Just go to==> SatisfyingSeniorSex.com/audio