What Does It Take to Have a Congenial, Long-Lasting Marriage?

Are the majority of couples married a long time unhappy with their relationship? That question has been bothering me for quite some time now. As a consultant of Feng Shui, I encounter several couples with less than perfect marriages. I'm often asked by those I help what the secret of a good marriage is.

So, I asked a few of my married friends for their opinion. As the group members are experienced over fifty years and was in a long marriage relation so I had to chose them. Their answer shocked me. Based on their personal experience and those of their friends, they think that 90% of married couples are, in one way or another, unhappy with their relationships.

It is rather sad, if it is true, that they are not able to live happily ever after, just like it happens in fairy tales.

Is there a cure? It is possible that there is.

In ancient societies such as those found in China, arranged marriages were commonplace, and the horoscope was often consulted. The birth details of the couple are examine to see if they are compatible, before they let them marry.

Will this provide the desired results? It increases your odds, but it doesn't always work. If combination of some conditions is done a happy and lasting marriage is possible as they observed with long period.

Those with a history of unsuccessful relationships or marriages, need to especially take note of this wisdom.

Some of the applicable conditions are as follows.

In the past, it was customary for the wife to be younger than the husband. This is like a tradition. It cannot and should not be broken. However the ancients also observed that for those with unsuccessful marriages or relationships, breaking the tradition can be a solution. The ancient Chinese considered wives "older" than their husbands, even if only a day. Although, for an improved outcome, a greater age difference is optimal.

The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. To the ancient Chinese, much older means at least 8 years apart. In practice, ten or fifteen years older is perfectly permitted or wanted.

It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. One example would be a corporate officer with a graduate degree married to a women from a humble family and with little education. Might it be reversed? In the olden days the husband as always consider to be the breadwinner. However in current modern times, where a lot of women earn more than than their husbands, why not?

The second condition applies to ladies only - especially the elderly. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. Therefore, a successful option for women is often to become the "other woman." Being "the other man" might not, however, be such a great idea!

What if none of the above works?

The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. For example, an Indian and a Chinese or between two Chinese brought up in different places. To give an example, if one was raised in China and the other was raised in America.

Our ancestors have left us with some great knowledge. So, and especially, if you are relationship challenged, give it a try. You cannot possibly lose!