Why We Have To Be Liked

By: Emma Summers Click author's name for more of his/her articles

One of the vital needs of man is to feel accepted. Knowing this is the secret to establishing and maintaining great relationships with various types of people.

A number of books, articles and seminars have taken the task of educating people like you on the different methods of associating with people and building lasting relationships with them. There are numerous things that you can do when associating with other people.

One of these is to make them feel accepted. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of man’s basic needs is to feel a sense of belonging to a group. Man feels the sense of belonging in either small groups like a family and small circle of friends, or big groups like clubs, teams, associations, departments and parties.

We all would like to have the feeling that we really belong and are needed in some way or other. A effortless way to show acceptance of people's ideas is by taking time to listen to them. If you do this it shows the person that you respect and value them and that their opinions are valuable. It responds to the very basic need to belong and can help develop a sense of importance.
Can you relate to any of the following scenarios?

- While sharing an significant insight, somebody would complete the sentence for you.
- While narrating what happened over the weekend, somebody would butt in and narrate a similar story.
- In a meeting, the boss would cut you short while you are still explaining your side.
- You ask your youngster about his day in school and he runs straight to his room.
- You wanted to discuss something with your spouse but he is busy watching football.

How did you feel? Dreadful, or what? It’s as if you are taken for granted. It’s as if no one is listening to you and that you do not matter. It signifies that your thoughts, concerns and ideas are not accepted.At the onset of life, an infant can feel this sense of acceptance from a mother who touches and caresses him in a loving way. As he grows older, his sense of approval and importance now comes from other family members, friends, teachers, peers, bosses, officemates, spouse, children, etc. Every single person in this whole world needs to be totally accepted. It puts meaning to a person’s existence.

Imagine a life with total absence of acceptance. Envision the life of babies who were cast off by their mothers. Envisage the consequence this will have on the babies’ emotional well-being. It is very likely that these kids will grow up dejected and feeling discriminated. The effects of discrimination can result in resentment and, if unrestrained, can result to vicious tendencies.
The feeling of resentment that is harbored over time can accelerate to anger and hostility. When a person becomes hostile, violence erupts. Bitterness is like a forest fire - it can go wild especially when fanned with more resentments. The mere polite act of accepting a person “can make or break them,” as the saying goes.

Acceptance must be done completely. The giver should not expect anything in return. There should be no “no strings attached” or no commitments to fulfill. To expect something in return defeats the purpose of making others like you. In fact, this may only generate resentment, for it would appear that you are manipulating people by forcing them into a situation they may not like in the future.

Unconditional acceptance of other people’s thoughts, ideas, and concerns can yield favorable outcomes. Acceptance elicits cooperation and this leads to working towards a shared goal. Acceptance yields encouraging and rewarding results. At the same time, you have raised the esteem, importance, and morale of the person whom you have accorded respect and acceptance.
Be prepared to accept other people’s ideas, thoughts, and inputs. You will harvest not only first-class results, but also the respect and appreciation of others, as well.

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

About The Author: Being accepted in life is what we all strive for and is an crucial step in developing self-confidence. For a complimentary video about growing your confidence further click here www.myconfidentlife.com