Your Biggest Marriage Problems - Solve Them Now!

By: Claude J Anthony Click author's name for more of his/her articles

You can solve even your biggest marriage problems. That's right, you can do it! This article contains some good advice and guidance, but the rest is up to you. What's up to you? Lot's of love, patience and some good old-fashioned tenaciousness. Just don't give up and watch what happens when you take the proper steps for marriage restoration.

If you have been wrestling with your marriage problems for some time I'm sure you are anxious to eliminate them so that you can move on to a loving and fun marriage.

However, it can be difficult to solve marriage problems without outside advice.

Of course you would like to be able to talk it out with your spouse, but there's the rub. For most couples, lack of communication usually causes most of their problems. Good communication is indispensable for a healthy marriage.

Why is it that other couples don't seem to wrestle with these problems? That's the way it seems, but I assure you that all married couples experience problems. What makes the difference is how the way they handle their problems, so you never see them. They have discovered how to eliminate them quickly and efficiently.

**How To Make Your Biggest Marriage Problems Worse!**

It's easy to make your biggest marriage problems worse...just clam up and don't communicate (or worse yet, communicate in a hostile way).

Here's what usually happens. (Note: the "you" in this example can be you, your spouse or both):

>>> You are doing your best to get your point across and you think you're doing a pretty good job. However, you are not listening to yourself. The tone of your voice and the way you look and move is demonstrating that you are angry with your spouse. Your spouse responds in a negative way.

>>> So you get more upset. Instead of explaining your concerns in a calm and loving manner, you accuse and criticize your spouse.

>>> You are carrying on a conversation...but it is a one-way conversation. Your spouse listens while you talk...and what you say hurts. Your spouse responds in a negative way.

>>> You and/or your spouse respond defensively. Once this happens everything goes to pot. If your spouse is getting defensive, perhaps you're getting too offensive.

>>> You can cause your spouse to clam up. If your spouse doesn't want to talk, examine yourself to see if you come across harshly or offensively. You may be the cause.

If this describes you (or both of you) make every effort to correct the above and things will start changing for the better.

**3 Steps To Resolving Your Marriage Problems**

Here are three quick steps for using good communication to resolve even your biggest marriage problems:

Step 1 - Preparation.

Spend some time thinking about the problem and write what you discover down. Remember, you will be talking to the one you married because you love and cherish him or her. Don't accuse or blame anyone, just tell your spouse how you feel and assure your spouse of your love.

When your spouse expresses how he or she feels, be careful not to blame, just love your spouse and accept that he or she feels that way. Real love will be compassionate and will desire to heal any hurt feelings.

Step 2 - Choose The Right Time To Talk.

Come up with a time you will discuss your problem. Make sure it is a time when you are both rested and feel your best. Avoid talking about problems when you are tired or have just come home from work.

Step 3 - Remember Your Goals.

Assure each other that you are not trying to argue, but that you are seeking solutions. Once you understand how each other feels, write down some ways you can avoid repeating whatever it is that causes frustration or anger. Do all in love.

There is a whole lot more to solving your biggest marriage problems than what is stated above:

Article Source: ABC Article Directory

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