Your Child the Quitter Part One

By: James Holan Click author's name for more of his/her articles

On May 30th of 2009 a nine year old boy accomplished more than some adults do in their entire life time. He achieved his Blackbelt in American Tae Kwon Do after five years of dedication and training. Most people will never in their lives accomplish something of this stature. A large portion of American children will never have accomplished more than an 'A+' on a test or the honor role at school.

Some people may think that accomplishing just the honor role or getting 'A's' is enough to create an outstanding adult but it is not. Simply obtaining good grades does not make a child understand the fundamentals of determination, dedication, and hard work. That is not to say a straight 'A' student will not accomplish great things but has anyone ever noticed that most straight 'A' students also achieve many other awards than just good grades.

When I was going through school I was in the AP (Advanced Placement) classes and I knew for sure that everyone in that room accomplished more than just their 'A' papers. I had friends that played instruments, participated in debate, were in Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Camp Fire USA, and in other extracurricular activities such as basketball, track, soccer, baseball and so forth. I myself was in Orchestra and, surprisingly, the children that always seemed to be in first chair were the AP children. At first I thought it was, I hate to say it, because we were smarter than they were but that was simply not the case.

These 'other' children were intelligent, they even helped me with my math homework when I was having trouble, and they knew all the answers. So I always wondered why they never tried as hard as they could in Orchestra. As I progressed through school and joined other clubs like theater, debate, and poetry interpretation, the reason became clear.

These 'other' children were quitters; they were the children who had no reason to obtain high grades, no reason to audition for first chair in Orchestra or the lead in theater. These 'other' children were the children whose parents were never involved. The more I noticed that the more I became thankful for my own mother who constantly encouraged me to do my best. It was then I realized why the AP students were the AP students, it was not because of increased intelligence but increased involvement.

Their parents, like my own, wanted to encourage them to do their best and let them know that they were loved and cared for. This involvement made these children want to succeed, it taught them not to quit. Their parents were not going to quit on them, so they should not quit on themselves. These were the parents who helped at class functions, who set down to do homework with their children or teens after school, who asked questions, who knew their children's friends, these were the parents who, basically took an interest in their children's life.

By doing this they gave their children a reason to try hard and thus showed them the value of hard work and determination. Almost all of my friends from AP are now either finished with college or obtaining higher degree levels. Of course there are exceptions, there are always exceptions but the vast majority of them have gone on to be successful in life.

And the reason they are successful is because they were taught by their parents that if they failed, if they did not work hard, then there was someone to disappoint. As they grew older that someone became themselves. They did not want to disappoint themselves by failing and therefore they never became quitters. That is to say, they always finished everything the whole way through, even if they hated it.

For instance, if they enrolled in basketball and decides two games in they do not like it, they at least finished out the season because they knew they were part of a team and if they quit they affected the team. But how does this translate into adulthood? Why is it so important for people to not quit as children, to find out look for part two of "Your Child the Quitter."

Copyright (c) 2009 James Holan

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