Managing Retirement Changes - By: Jenni P

When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us." Alexander Graham Bell

As we face the next phase of our life, we know that change will be rampant. Going into this change with eyes wide open and ready will help us lead a happy retirement. After all, retirement is a little like adolescence, with life changes, upheavals and physical differences.

Consider retirement as a blending of the stages of your life, a combination of the education of your youth, the productivity of your middle years, and the leisure of your latter years.

Leaving work and making a lifestyle change brings up many issues that need to be dealt with. As we’ve said before, some people don’t really plan to “retire,” but rather make a career change into something that will fit their new standard of living. As Nancy Schlossberg, professor at the University of Maryland and retirement author, states: "Retirement implies that you're just leaving something; it doesn't reflect that you're going to something. But it is really a career change. You are leaving something that has been your primary involvement, and you are moving to something else."

In addition, she said, “You are changing so much about your life—your work role, your relationships, your daily routines, your assumptions about yourself."

Let’s discuss some of the changes we can expect to see:

• Income: Unless you’re extremely fortunate, you will see a decrease in money coming in to deal with bills, car payments, healthcare, and everyday living expenses.
• Daily Routine: Those of us who have worked in a 9-5 work world will see a great change once we leave our jobs. No more alarm clocks, commutes, fast food lunches and noses to the grindstone.
• Identity: We will lose something we may never have put much thought into—our work identity. Many of us describe ourselves by our paying jobs (architect, manager, accountant) rather than other life roles (parent, mentor, provider).
• Status: Leaving the job means changing our status in life. As one senior executive put it, “I moved from being a big fish in a little pond to just a fish alone.”
• Work/Colleague Relationships: While we probably won’t miss commuting to our jobs, we will miss our co-workers. Because so much of our time is spent at work, these people can be more than just our coffee break companions, but our primary support group.

Leaving work
As we leave our traditional working life, we may have:
• Security issues: Can I survive on the money I have?
• Emotional issues: I will get lonely without my friends around me every day.
• Self-worth issues: No one needs me anymore.
• Self-image issues: Who am I if I’m not a XXXXX?

Many other changes may take place. Perhaps it’s a role reversal where the partner who usually stayed home with the house and kids is now doing either paid or volunteer work while the previously full-time worker stays at home and tends the garden. Or, you might undergo a metamorphosis of appearance, attitude and self-image through a new exercise regimen. And, while some of us will feel relief from the pressure of unrewarding work or physical labor, others may be giving up something precious to them.
The good news is that psychological studies show that as we become “senior citizens” we tend to regulate our emotions better than younger folk. We better maintain positive feelings and decrease negative feelings. One theory is that as we get older, we become cognizant of our mortality and the limited time left, and we direct our minds to more positive thinking, activities and memories.

Transition towards retirement
An important thing for us Baby Boomers to remember is, as the Nike commercial said, “There is no finish line.” Whereas our parents worked toward a definite retirement age (the finish line) we Baby Boomers will just stay on the track. We may slow down a bit, but we will continue to run.

As we step on the next stepping stone to transition into this new life phase, we need to consider our psychological needs every bit as much as our income. We get lots of advice about saving for retirement, but, although there has been a great deal of research on the subject, we get very little help in dealing with the changes ahead. So, as we go forward, our main task is to construct something that will fulfill our psychological needs.

We need to create goals and grasp opportunities to reach those goals. It may be time to completely “rewire” our minds and lifestyles to fit this time. We need to open ourselves to anticipating new experiences and challenges. Some of us, for example, may want to physically reorient ourselves by travelling to a different country to create a new life. If “life is the sum of all your choices,” as French author and philosopher Albert Camus said, you still have a lot of alternatives to consider.

Dealing with Emotions
Everyone, of course, deals with retirement differently. But these phases of change are realistic when we think about how we cope with loss of any kind. We have to deal with the fact that we have “lost” our old lifestyle and need to adapt to a new one.

First thing to do is to dump the emotional baggage. How many times in your life have you fantasized about escaping from your current life and starting over from scratch? This is a good chance to do so! Leave your baggage at the door and start reinventing yourself. The opportunity is here to leave the worst of the past behind and concentrate on the positives. Of course, this is much easier said than done.

Feeling emotional in some way is inevitable, and we may have particularly high-charged emotions if we are suddenly thrust into a retirement caused by redundancy, illness, or financial crisis. Our current recessive economy has given all of us pause as redundancies become commonplace, which among other things cuts us off from important benefits such as sick leave.

And, perhaps for some Baby Boomers, there is resentment that we can’t just relax on our hammocks during this next phase, but rather need to plan a new, active, money producing future. How we deal with this resentment will influence our success in adapting to retirement.

Relationship issues
One thing you can be certain of is that your relationship will change. In this next phase, it is likely both partners will have different roles and responsibilities, plus spend a lot more time together. Planning this next step can make this a time of shared goals, shared experiences and shared fun.

You need to work together now to ensure that your goals and your purpose are fairly similar. Interests and passions don’t matter so much—those can be shared or not—but if you are pulling in different directions you are going to experience a lot of tension. This is your chance to work through those issues and emerge with common goals, common purpose and a common expectation of the future.

Family issues
This is also an important time to make sure your family’s expectations and your expectations are based on common ground. For example, adult children may feel abandoned if you leave their area or may feel trapped if you move into their area. They may think that since you have “nothing better to do” you can be the on-call babysitter. If you find a new companion in your retirement years, your children may have trouble dealing with that.

Additionally, your aged parents may feel neglected if you go on more trips. In fact, they might resent your active retirement versus their very traditional one.

The best laid plans might change
Common sense tells us that all our planning for the future may change based on unforeseen events, such as the death or illness of a partner, our own illness or disability, the illness or disability of aged parents or adult children, or a personal financial crisis.

Your expectations
The disenchantment phase we mentioned earlier will probably be our biggest obstacle. Stress and anxiety can be caused by having high expectations of retirement that aren’t met by reality: finances, health, responsibilities or lack of access to services or opportunities. As life goes on despite our best laid plans, we must adapt and cope. You need to know yourself and manage your response to change. You will miss some of your old life: work role, routine, relationships and identity. How will you compensate for these? You must take time to grieve the loss of the dream and then take time to rebuild a new realistic dream that fulfils your needs. Be open to new ways to achieve the same life satisfaction.

When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us." Alexander Graham Bell

If you want more information please visit Jenni Proctor – Career Clarity or call 07 3901 6559