If you want to get back lost love or win back your boyfriend, it is important to remember not to appear needy or desperate; doing so will simply create more distance by pushing him away. Instead, your approach should be to work to get back what you have lost by taking the necessary steps, even if that means toughening up. You should be prepared to make some sacrifices along the way and to work hard, but the end result will be a much closer connection with the boyfriend that you feared you had lost for good.
Firstly, take the time to think things through carefully, before even thinking about calling your ex boyfriend with a view to getting back together. If you are an emotional mess and you try to communicate with him, it will almost certainly have the effect of putting an even greater strain on what is already a fragile relationship. Reflecting on why things turned out the way they did and what you could have done differently is a much better approach.
You are better able to find yourself by indulging in this self reflection, and trying to figure out his wants and needs, as well as your own is what the process should be all about. Forgiveness is also an important part of this process, and if your boyfriend wronged you or did something to cause the break up, you should find it in yourself to forgive him. Otherwise, you will find that you are preventing your ex boyfriend from getting back together with you by carrying this grudge and working things out between you becomes even more of a challenge.
In order to develop self reliance, the two of you need your independence, although you may find that you are possessive and clingy during the process of self reflection. The bond between you will actually become stronger if you both acknowledge the separation and distance between you. Start to analyze those little things that were causing tension and stress between the two of you, and although this can be slow and frustrating, it will show you that you are ready to take action to get back lost love.
Think of some of the things that the two of you had in common, and shared a common bond with; these can be foods, drinks, events or places and let him know that when you had that particular experience, it was memorable because of him. Another important thing to remember is to be yourself, and you will only make the situation more stressful and upsetting if you pretend to be someone else.
However, you will need to back off if your ex boyfriend is now seeing someone else and the only thing you can do is wait to see if he starts to see things differently and gives you a call. If you are pushy, you will simply hurt yourself. You should also tell yourself that realistically, he is unlikely to contact you if he hasn't done after a certain time, and you will add to your heartbreak if you cannot accept this.
Identifying and addressing any problems between the two of you is essential if you are to win him back, and forgiving him and moving on are important, rather than vengeance and being needy.
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How can I get my girlfriend back? Being young can be harder for some than others. For what ever reason this particular girl had me in a spin I just couldn't pull myself out of, but we live and learn, and yes I have learned a lot. At How to get my girlfirend back I try to figure out some of these tough questions.
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