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If You Can Write Rubbish, You Can Write






     Stuck in a Rut?
You sit down to write a CV. It must be good. Or a poem that is as good as others you have heard. You try to write lyrics, or compose music, that is artistically at the same standard as what you see and hear on TV. You turn your hand to any creative pursuit, but you keep getting stuck in a rut.

You kick off your creative writing with a snazzy first paragraph. You get going. Hey presto, these words are hot! But after some self-critique, you discover that the next couple of sentences are not so good.

Stop Digging!
You cross out, what doesn't make "your" grade. You get going again. Then abandon the first block of text for something better. After lots of crossing out, the waste paper basket is full to overflowing. Whatever the creative pursuit, you find yourself back at square one, staring at an empty page.

Do unto yourself, as you would have, done unto others
Your biblical wisdom doesn't need to be up there, to spot that the actual saying is the reverse of what is shown here. Unnecessary, unseemly, and untimely critique is sadly something, others, all too often, do to us.

You come up with a good idea of where to go on holiday, or even a business idea. Others, your parents, your friends, your colleagues, stop you in your tracks. They immediately point out the problems. They ridicule it. They say it is from the back of a fag packet. They tell you not to give up your day job.

You may not be able to stop others doing this to you, but why do it to yourself? Just jot down whatever your mind produces. Poem, CV, essays. Indeed any creative writing.
Use the first couple of sessions, simply to write, critique free. Never cross anything out, never edit, never ponder whether any of it is good enough.

A Lightning Rod that Conducts
Think of yourself as a lightning rod, with the ability to channel the electricity of ideas, from your brain onto your PC tablet. Suppose your brain produces some proverbial brown stuff. You have no say in the matter. Just do it. You are a conduit, just conduct what you get, be it water, be it wine, just get it onto your storage medium.

The creative process is difficult enough to stimulate, without constant interruption. Once you have a pile of notes, twenty or more times the volume of your target piece, by all means review. You can then order, collate and organize. Now take time to wave goodbye to writer's block.

Case in Point - "I'm Too Sexy"
Imagine you need to write lyrics for a pop number. Suppose you wrote down the line "I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far"! What would your friends think?
What if you told your bewildered audience, that you were considering follow-up lyrics such as "I'm too sexy for my hat"? What about "I'm too sexy for my cat"? Be honest. Would such poppycock make it past your own censorship committee? I think not!

One Hundred Million Dollars
It would have been a shame then, if "Right Said Fred", the composers of the above snippets, had prevented these lines from making it onto a sheet of paper.

A shame! Why? Because these "I'm too sexy" lines are the basis of one of the most successful pop songs ever! It is fine if they are not to your taste. Think though, whether the one hundred million dollars, resulting from the sales, would be to your taste. I am guessing yes!

The song features in fashion shows, parties, and discos up and down the globe, year in, year out. From Golum to Gangram Style, we see creations, however silly they may appear at first glance, that touch the lives of billions.






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Posted on 2013-08-06, By: *

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