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It Happened One Night...Sort Of






     "We could sit here and have another drink. We could go swimming. We could make out for a while. Or we could just say 'goodnight, sleep well, see you tomorrow.'"

"I think it already is tomorrow. And what you mean, 'make out'?"

"It's an American expression. It means 'to kiss.'"

"I see. Another strange American expression."

"Well…?"

"I'm not wearing a bathing suit."

"You don't need a bathing suit to make out."

"I mean to go swimming, silly."

"Oh. Well, nobody's around. You don't need a bathing suit to go swimming, either."

"You're around."

"That's true, but it's dark. What can I see?"

"There's a moon out . . . you can see."

"Then I'll look at the moon."

"Do you have a bathing suit?"

"Of course."

"That's not fair."

"Okay, I won't wear it."

"Do you usually go swimming naked with girls the first night you meet them?"

"Its called skinny dipping."

"What?"

"Swimming naked. Skinny dipping."

"So many crazy American sayings."

"Well, we like them. They're useful."

"Well then, do you usually go skinny dipping with girls the first night you meet them?"

"If I'm lucky."

"Ha! You feel lucky tonight?"

"I always feel lucky. If you never feel lucky, you never get lucky."

"Sometimes getting lucky can be unfortunate."

"You're a wise woman."

"You always get lucky?"

"No."

"But you'd like to get lucky with me."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I like you."

"Why?"

"I like your mind."

"Bullshit. You don't want to go skinny dippy with my mind."

"You can bring it along."

"You want to make out with my mind?"

"What you think I'm doing now?"

"You mean you're f***ing with my mind. Even I know that crazy American expression."

"F***ing with your mind…?"

"Yes. There should be condoms for that."

"Ha! Booze helps. If you drink enough of it the next morning your mind will have forgotten everything. No memory of entry."

"I'll drink to that. Why else do you like me?"

"I like the way you look."

"Ah ha…! You like my body."

"Of course. There something wrong with that?"

"If that's all you like, then yes."

"There's a lot to like about your body. It's been well groomed. Regularly exercised."

"You talk like I'm a horse."

"No. I'm just saying you have a nice body, and you obviously take good care of it. You want to look good and I think you do."

"Thank you. But I want to look good for myself not . . ."

"What, you live alone in a house of mirrors?"

"No. But when I look good, when I think I look good, then I feel good. I feel healthy. Good health is what's important to me."

"All right. I think you look healthy."

"Thank you. That's better. That I appreciate."

"You have very healthy-looking boobs."

"Ha!"

"Salubrious thighs, and florid, unsullied flesh. In fact, you look so healthy it's almost sickening."

"Ah, you're so silly. What else you like about my body?"

"All the usual stuff."

"How about the face?"

"Very pretty. Especially when you're smiling. I like your eyes, too."

"Ha! You haven't even looked in my eyes, yet."

"I've looked at them."

"Okay then, what color are they?"

"They're . . . they're dark."

"It's dark out."

"Well, there you are. Your eyes color the cosmos, darling."

"Ah, you do make me laugh. But, in the end, it's just a woman's body that interests a man."

"Nonsense. In the beginning, I said I liked your mind, and you said, 'bullshit.' Maybe you don't want me to like anything other than your body."

"Bullshit."

"You're fond of that word."

"It's not just used in America."

"No. It's understood pretty much everywhere."

"We use it a lot in Norway."

"You commit suicide a lot in Norway, too."

"Ah."

"One of the highest suicide rates in the world."

"Yes. I know."

"Too many dark days and clear bottles of booze."

"It's expensive."

"What, the booze or the bullet?"

"The vodka. The vodka and the dreary emotions."

"Not much laughter…?"

"Not enough."

"You're not feeling depressed are you? I mean it's dark out now, and we've been drinking a bit."

"No. I'm feeling fine."

"Sure?"

"I feel wonderful."

"You feel lucky?"

"Let's go swimming."

"Skinny dipping?"

"You'll look at the moon?"

"Promise."

"Okay. You always get lucky, don't you?"

"Only in my dreams."

Or, when I'm writing bullshit like this.




Article Source: http://www.abcarticledirectory.com


McFinn is from Chicago and currently resides in Cambodia. He has a degree in Philosophy from Georgetown University. Much of his work should be considered humorous and fictionalized memoirs. There are also satirical essays. Location settings include Thailand, Cambodia, India, Burma, Morocco and Greece. Excerpts, reviews & purchase information are available via his website: www.morganmcfinn.com


Posted on 2013-07-08, By: *

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Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author,


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