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It's Tea Time for Congress

     I would like to rectify a grievous error that many of us citizens make when we refer to a politician as an ass. The fact is that is not what they are, but correctly stated, it is where their heads are stuck at most of the time, either up their own or up someone else's. I feel much better having clarified that for everyone.

The public confidence in Congress is at an all time low, even lower than that of the president's, although he is gaining fast, and to be fair he has only been in office a little over a year. You can't blame anyone who lacks confidence though, what with nearly every headline you read or hear regarding politicians is about corruption, infidelity, graft and general lack of ethics (a.k.a. "another day in Congress".) It is little wonder that the Tea Party is gaining popularity so fast. Of course, our members of Congress could get right on board with that if we'd just be willing to change it from tea to a rum and coke party and maybe add a few hookers into the mix (and add a room on the side with free botox injections for Nancy Pelosi.) It would be one of the few bipartisan ideas that every one of them could support.

The "Nigerian businessman" who just sent you an e-mail asking for your bank information is only a guy in training to become a politician. Tiger Woods would have made an exceptional politician except that he got caught way too early in his career. You have to be able to hide these things better than that. You need to at least get elected first. Then it is more acceptable because it is totally expected.

There was going to be a new reality show called "Dancing with the Politicians" but it never got on the air. Because of all the slime it made the floors too slippery and no one could dance. Plus, could you imagine someone wanting to dance with Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi?

Another new political reality show being tossed around is entitled "Deal or No Deal on Healthcare". They are planning to borrow their advertising slogan from the movie "The Sixth Sense" so when their commercial comes on a kid will come out and say, "I see dead people." That should define the show quite well.

There is one more political reality show in the works but this one is strictly for democrats. Really, the last one was too but they'll at least pretend to let the republicans play. This show is called "What Would Ted Kennedy Do?" The guy who loses has to drive his car off a bridge into a river with a pregnant woman with him. If he survives he'll be forced to serve in the Senate for the rest of his life and he'll be known as "The Liar of the Senate". No wait... maybe that was "Lion"... not really sure on that, I'll have to get back to you.

And last of all, there is going to be a news show just about Congress. It will be called "The Stimulus Report". It will be an expose' on which congressmen are taking sexual enhancement bribes from the drug companies to let them continue to legally push drugs on the American people.

On that note I am all for throwing a party for Congress at election long as it is the Tea Party

Article Source:

Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to

Posted on 2010-03-18, By: *

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Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author.

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