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The Difference Between Men and Women, "It's Complicated"

     I recently saw a study that says seniors are still having sex well into their 80's. They may not remember if they enjoyed it, or who they did it with, but they sure do remember having it. It said 38% of men and 17% of women in their 80's were sexually active. So apparently men, even at that age are going to the bars and exaggerating their sexual conquests, or there are some old ladies who are carrying more than their fair share of the load. As the saying goes, "a woman's work is never done".

Sex takes way too much of most people's attention. In fact, for some men the only time they are not thinking about sex is when they are actually having it. For women it is more talking about men's desire for sex and laughing at the men, thinking that they have them all figured out...then they eventually sometimes regain their sanity.

You see, women think there is something to figure out about men but there really isn't. If you could see inside the typical man's mind you'd again...take a dump... and also a lot more SEX. And that's about it. Oh and I did forget beer for some of them too. It really doesn't get a whole lot more complicated than that.

But if you looked into a woman's mind it would be a whole different story..."What is he thinking?"..."What is she thinking?"... "Does my ass look big in these jeans?"..."Why did he look at me like that?"..."Was he just flirting with me?"..."Should I have sex with him?"... "Am I gaining weight?"..."Yes, my ass is definitely too fat for these jeans." infinitum.

Men enjoy simple things. For example, we like to hear facts like a male rat will have sex 20 times a day. (John Edwards is a perfect example which proves that one.) Or that the male lion will often have sex up to 50 times a day. (Ah, yes. It is good to be the king.)

A woman is way more likely to complicate those simple facts and ask, "What is that male lion thinking about when he is making all these conquests. Is he trying to prove his masculinity? I wonder if that lion would think my ass is too big for these jeans?" You get the idea.

Again, men are simple beings. Yes, it is true that some of us are idiots too but that just adds to our charm. We really aren't thinking anything at all complex when women are trying to figure out what we are thinking. Very often we are just staring off into space. Many times men don't think of what we are saying before we say it and that often gets us in trouble with women. The woman then thinks we have some sinister plot going on, that's why we said that mean thing. The fact is we were just too stupid to think that thought through to an end and it gets us in trouble.

So, women, you will have to forgive us and please stop thinking we have more on our minds than we do. We are not actually that complicated. But while we may not always be as smart as you, we are also not complete morons. We are never going to give you an honest answer on the question, "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?" Because we still do want to have sex with you.

Article Source:

Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to

Posted on 2010-03-23, By: *

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Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author.

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