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Tragic Death in Delhi

     What a tragic loss of a 23 year old woman's life in Delhi.

And what an outpouring of emotion in that city from thousands of men and women on the streets since that Sunday evening.

No longer, it seems, can the abusive treatment that many women experience in India be tolerated.

A wave is forming like the one that followed Rosa Parks refusal to give up her seat on that Alabama bus in 1955.

The heat is rising and is fuelled by thoughts of revenge and the desire to make the six men suffer in the same way that she suffered.

After all, people who behave like this deserve such treatment don't they?

At this time, who could even think about compassion and understanding for these brutal monsters?

Well, I am.

Am I some bleeding heart liberal who wants us to understand the terrible childhood that the men had to excuse their actions, or some other sob story?

That's not how I see myself.

I could be mistaken about that but what I'm not mistaken about is that if we respond in the way that the raging crowds in Delhi are demanding that we do, then we are no different to the men who ended her life.

Such a response is revenge. It's not anything to do with justice and I'm passionate about making sure we're clear about this.

Once we're clear, we can make choices about how we behave, and take full responsibility for that.

So what to do to the men?

If killing them isn't possible, I guess the popular view would be to lock them up and throw away the key.

Well, I'd certainly agree with the first action in order to protect other woman.

And then what?

I'll return to this question in a future article.

And for those of us who thirst for revenge? What are we to do?

Give empathy for ourselves and to each other. Express the fury, the outrage, the pain and anguish. have it heard with empathic ears.

Express those thoughts that cause our pain, allow the outpourings, hear the outpourings and then, only then can we change direction, away from those toxic, destructive thoughts to the feelings that we have in our hearts about such an ending of a fellow human's life.

And believe me, I feel deeply upset at such treatment of a fellow human. And sincerely hope that this is no momentary outburst affecting a relatively few woman in one city.

And following the feelings, then on further, deeper to those core needs for safety, equality, justice, respect, a certain kind of community to belong to and contribute to.

And then, and only then, might we be able to use a different kind of thinking.

The type of thinking that seeks to solve problems.

The type of thinking that leads to communicating ideas and solutions in direct conversations and by email, texts and social media to engage and activate.


Often a word that has a strong negative association…. Images of angry people on the streets, riots, conflict, combat, violent destruction, chaos.

But now, a different association is growing.

Uprising = direct action.

A move towards a real democracy, active, participatory and, above all, alive.

Like the footballer, Kevin Prince Boateng who stopped playing during a 'friendly' match last week in Italy as a response to racist chants from 'fans' in the stadium and led his teammates from the pitch.

If we don't like it, we won't stand for it and we'll take action. The Occupy Movement. The Arab Spring.

Are you seeing a pattern? Am I deluding myself?

Article Source:

Peter Burton has successfully taught thousands of people how to deal with conflict easily and skilfully. Enjoy the rich harvest of great personal and working relationships when you discover how to make conflict your friend. Find out how this can happen for you by clicking on

Posted on 2013-01-12, By: *

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Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author.

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