Getting your kidss into a routine is critical both for you and your little one. Another tip on accepting separation is acknowledging that the source of your child's emotions is often more centered on transitioning to something new and less about the actual separation itself. It isn't that they do not miss you (they do), it's just that your absence forces them to make a change.
Parker has problems transitioning in all kinds of situations, not just daycare drop-off. When he is watching his favorite television show and it is time to go somewhere, like a birthday party, he cries. When it is time to leave the birthday party, he cries. It isn't that he doesn't want to do the new activity; it is just that he can't see beyond his present moment.
Parker is a child that requires routine. He needs to get up at the same time, eat the same breakfast, and watch his favorite television show--all in the same order. He has only a handful of superhero shirts he will agree to wear. If I try to change any of these things, we always have some form of emotional outburst.
Because he thrives and depends on routine, I do my very best to keep it the same. So, on school days, we get up at the same time, have the same breakfast, and get dressed quickly. Then as a reward, we usually watch a few minutes of his favorite cartoon.
This difficulty in transitioning through change also applies to my older children. Every Monday morning, Emily seems to have a cough or a headache. I know that part of her aversion to beginning the Monday school routine is part acting, but more than anything it's her reluctance to move through the change from the weekend back to the weekday.
Now that I understand her challenge with change, I help her. I usually play along and tell her to get dressed and let's just "try school for the morning." We have an agreement that if she is still not feeling well after the first few school periods, then I will come and pick her up. Sure enough, once Emily gets to school I almost never hear from her.
Children crave structure even though they don't think they do. By establishing morning and evening routines you can help your children through many transitions: from home to school, from school to home, and from home to bedtime.
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The perfect tool that helps keep everyone on a routine can be found at the Wolfgang Puck Pressure Cooker Review. Another great tool that helps you guide conversations your direction can be found at the Ultimate Conversational Hypnosis Review.
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