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Helene Rothschild's Articles in Lifestyle

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Peace and Joy: The Next Twelve Commandments Many people honor the Ten Commandments and try to live by them. The belief is that a long, long time ago, God gifted us with these guidelines. In this more complex world, we can use twelve more to steer us in positive personal and global ways. Healing The "Imposter Syndrome" Do you ever feel as though you are hiding who you really are? Are you afraid that if people knew your secrets, you would not be liked or respected? If you do, you are not alone. Many people feel like an imposter. Their stress level is high, because they worry about their truth being revealed. Shy No More If you were describing your personality, would ''shy'' be included? If you answered, "Yes," you are not alone. Many people suffer from this anxious feeling. I often hear people say, "That is the way I am," as if they are stuck with shyness the rest of their lives. Fortunately, that is not true. As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I have helped many men, women, and children overcome this limiting, uncomfortable feeling. Knowledge VS Wisdom Are you aware that there is a big difference between knowledge and wisdom? Believe it or not, this information can transform your life. It definitely has affected my life in many profound ways. Holistic Living: A Major Key to Health, Happiness and Success Do you want a healthier, happier and more successful life? Then, it is important to realize how crucial it is to deal with all of you, which includes the mind, body, emotions and spirit, our caring and unconditional loving part. I believe that many of our personal, professional, and world problems are caused by this oversight. The Spirit of Valentine's Day Valentine's Day is a wonderful reminder to express our love. To me, everyday is Valentine's Day. "Focus each day not on what you can accomplish, but how much caring and love you express to others and yourself." Set Healthy Boundaries Do you allow others to do and say things to you that do not feel good? Would you like to establish new patterns to deal with the problem? Everyone needs to set healthy boundaries. This is a gift to others and you. By allowing people to act in ways that are not appropriate, you actually hurt them too because they are stuck in their unhealthy behavior. Therefore, it is important to learn how to establish boundaries for all involved. Celebrate the Spirit of New Years Celebration is often the word associated with New Years. Many fun, traditional parties are enjoyed. That is definitely part of the spirit of the holiday. However, there is much more. Expectations the Culprit; Acceptance the Key See if you can relate to these examples of expectations. Mary was sad that she did not get the job she wanted. She thought that was the perfect and possibly only job for her. Sally felt frustrated because she did not win the art contest. The loss shook her self-confidence in her abilities. Worry No More! Do you find yourself worrying about the past, present, or future? Do your concerns keep you up at night and even affect your health? Would you like to learn ways to prevent and "cure" this common stressful feeling? How to Enjoy Your Work Do you find yourself resisting going to your job? Are you counting the days until the end of your work week? You are not alone. Monday morning blues is a common condition. However, you can change all that now. Find out now how you too can transform your job into a wonderful service. How to Enjoy the True Spirit of Thanksgiving Do you find yourself stressed planning your thanksgiving feast? Would you like to find out how you can enjoy a more relaxed, fun time and feel the true spirit of this yearly event? Then read on for some suggestions of how you can create a day of thanksgiving instead of stress and exhaustion. Overcoming Performance Anxiety Do you find yourself stressed because you feel you have to keep proving to others (and yourself) that you are a good husband, wife, employee, boss, friend, parent, etc.? If you are, help is on the way! You no longer need to struggle with performance anxiety. By the way, you are not alone. This is a very common problem. Free to Be Happy Sherry’s face lit up. She had just heard a truth that set her free--free to be happy and successful. A few minutes before, she was in tears of hurt when she said to her father, “When I was in the hospital with severe burns and you yelled at me, I felt devastated. I decided that I must be bad and not good enough.” Why Are We Here? Why are we here? Have we come to play the role of husband, wife, parent, teacher, healer, etc.? Are we here to love, play, and experience life to the fullest? What is our primary mission on this planet? How Determination Creates Success Would you like to succeed with an idea or project? My true story of how my faith and determination led to my great success can inspire you to do the same. Recovering People Pleasers Do you find yourself wanting to make everyone happy, even if it means you are not? Have you hidden yourself in order to survive in your family? If you answered "yes" to the above, you are not alone. In my counseling practice, I have discovered numerous people pleasers, also known as adapters. After they overcame their issues and felt free to be their unique selves, I called them "Recovering People Pleasers." Vertical VS Horizontal Living Living vertically can save your life and serve you in many ways. Since fear causes stress, and stress causes dis-ease, I know this phenomenon has assisted me to be healthy and safe. Healing Laughter Laughter has proven to be a very healing experience. Some people with serious illnesses have successfully laughed themselves back to health. When you laugh, there is an actual chemical release in your body that helps you relax, release stress, and feel good. On the contrary, when you take things too seriously, your body constricts; therefore, you are likely to feel stressed and create dis-ease. Be A “Should Buster!” Are you ‘shoulding’ others and yourself? Do you realize how inappropriate and hurtful that usually is? That is because the word ‘should’ implies that if you do, or do not act, think, feel, or say something, you are not okay. That message hurts everyone’s self-esteem. It also hooks the rebellious part of us, and we are likely to react in a passive or active aggressive way. Intuitive Problem Solving “What am I to do?” Do you have a tendency to feel stressed as you think about all the possibilities? Once you finally made a decision, do you then wonder if you made the right choice? If you are like me, you weigh everything, see both sides, and find it difficult to make decisions. For my sanity and reduction of stress that causes dis-ease, I fortunately discovered a better way. I call it Intuitive Problem Solving. What Your Four Parts Want From You Would you like to feel better and enhance your life? The following are reminders of what your four parts (body, mind, emotions, and spirit) want from you so that you can be balanced and feel good. Put a check next to the statements that you are already doing. Are You Left or Right Brain Dominant? Are you sometimes aware of judging others or yourself because of different behavior patterns? Could it be that people naturally react in a different way to similar situations and everyone is okay? Do you want to understand a basic difference so that you can have more love, harmony, and peace in your life? Healing Sexual Issues Improves Self-Esteem & Relationships Our sexuality is a healthy, normal, human part of us. Sexual problems can hurt your self-esteem and relationships. As a practicing Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I have learned fascinating insights as to the causes of our sexual issues. The following are some case studies of clients who overcame their sexual blocks. Loving Ways To Deal With Death and Dying Death is a natural occurrence, a passageway. When we can accept human death as another cycle of life, we can enjoy our daily lives more because we won’t be in fear. Then we can also gracefully release others who are dying. Read the 23 suggestions that can help you deal with death and dying in a loving, healthy way. What Can I Do Now To Feel Good? We have all of our answers inside of us. When we become quiet and ask ourselves a “What” or “How” question we can receive the information and clarity that we need at the time to feel good, and to resolve our problems. The past is for us to learn from, and our future is dependent on what we choose to think and how we decide to act in the present. Change your present and reshape your future! 30 Guidelines for Solving Problems It is normal and human to have problems. If our hands get dirty we know how to wash them. Similarly, when we have problems we need to know how to clean them up. Relationships with loved ones, friends, children, bosses, etc. suffer when problems are not resolved in constructive ways. The following 30 guidelines can assist you to resolve problems and enjoy healthy, happy relationships. 21 Biggest Mistakes Friends Make Are you being a good friend? Do you have friends that you appreciate? Would you like to improve your friendships? Is your loving partner your best friend? As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I helped many people resolve issues with their friends and create healthier friendships. The same principles apply to romantic relationships. Ideally, your loving partner is your best friend. Dear Earth Are you aware of what is happening to our beautiful Mother Earth? Do you feel concerned about the many people and businesses that have consciously or unconsciously hurt our air, water, land, animals, vegetation, and atmosphere? The truth is that the situation is not hopeless, you are not powerless, and you can make a difference. Creativity and the Excitement of Life Are you allowing yourself to express your creativity? When you were growing up, were your creative expressions discouraged? Would you like to express that part of you and experience more of the excitement of life? The Biggest Mistakes Society Makes Are you frustrated with the events happening in your neighborhood, city, state, country, and/or the world? Have you wondered why history keeps repeating itself? Would you like some insights as to the causes of the problems and the solutions? 30 Ways to Resolve Upsets Do you ever get upset? Welcome to the human race! It is very helpful to have some course of action so that you can overcome that negative feeling and feel good again. Unresolved upsets hurt you and the others involved. As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I discovered some very effective ways to assist my clients. The following 30 guidelines for your personal and professional relationships can help you too. My Golden Years Have you noticed that some mature men and women look so old and others of the same age appear much younger? It is true that there are many factors contributing to these differences. However, I believe that we can take charge of our lives and enjoy the golden years as a vital, active, healthy contributing person. Find out how! 50 Affirmations to Raise Your Self-Esteem Are you ready to feel good about yourself? That is the key to health, happiness, fulfilling relationships, and success. Negative thoughts hurt your self-esteem and positive thoughts help you feel good. To raise your self-esteem, say, sing, or write the following 50 affirmations (positive thoughts) until they become part of your automatic thinking. Success Does Not Fit My Self-image Do you have a successful self-image? Could it be that your old self-image is sabotaging your weight loss, health, career, relationships, or prosperity? Nurture Yourself by Giving and Receiving Balancing giving and receiving are ways to nurture yourself and reduce your level of stress. Allow yourself to receive and “fill up your basket” so that you can keep giving. Then you can be happier and healthier, and improve your relationships with everyone, including friends, relatives, and your children and loving partner. Read the 34 suggestions of how you can nurture yourself by giving and receiving. How To Give Help, How To Ask For It Giving help is a craft; receiving help, an art. Read important guidelines about how to give and receive help. Fear That I Do Not Deserve Success Are you striving for personal and professional success and not reaching your goals? Do you feel you deserve success? Could it be that you feel guilty about something you did or did not do that is causing you to feel bad about yourself and sabotage all your efforts? 50 Ways to Nurture Yourself It is important to be able to do what you can to feel good on a daily basis. Then you are not dependent on others because you can nurture yourself. When you are self-caring you are not being selfish. In fact when you feel fulfilled, you then have more to give to others. Find out 50 ways you can give to yourself. Fear of the Unknown For some reason, we are often afraid of the unknown. We will stay in an unfulfilling home, job, or relationship, because we know how it is. It is familiar. We do not know what will happen if we make a change. One client once said, “I would rather be safe than satisfied.” Can you relate to that? How to Identify and Overcome Addictions When we are addicted to someone or something, it means we behave like a slave because we allow the person or strong habit to control us. It is what we do in excess in order to avoid our painful feelings (hurt, anger, fear, loneliness, emptiness, etc.). Therefore, addictions are often the symptoms and not the causes of our troubles. Identify your addictions and overcome them so that you can live a happier, healthier life. Success Means A Scary Consequence Could it be that you are sabotoging your efforts to reach your personal or professional goals because you unconsciously have a fear attached to it? Find out more about this unconscious fear of success and how to overcome it, so that you can experience the success you desrie and deserve. If I Am Successful, I Will Be Alone Many of us have experienced rejection as we were growing up. Other kids, siblings, friends, relatives, and even parents were sometimes jealous of our good looks, intelligence, talents, and achievements. Therefore, we are afraid that people will not like us if we succeed. We may sabotage ourselves in order to be loved and accepted. 24 Secrets To Happiness Are you happy? Would you like to be even happier? You can if you understand what brings true, long-lasting happiness. We all have the ability to create a happy life and we all deserve it. When you focus on the 24 keys to happiness, your life can improve dramatically. It takes two happy people to have a happy relationship. The Biggest Mistakes Couples Make Would you like to know how to improve your loving relationship? Do you want to prevent the pitfalls of intimate partnerships so that you can maintain a long-lasting, healthy relationship? Read about the five biggest mistakes and the solutions that can assist you to reach your goal. Resentmentâ€”The Bite That Holds On I told the troubled couple that they were unique but their problems were not. In the course of counseling many couples, I found that the lack of love was rarely the problem. However, hidden resentments caused many bad feelings, and covert or overt conflicts. Find out how to clear your resentments so that you can have the healthy, loving relationship that you deserve. Three Ways We Make Decisions How do you make decisions? Learn about the three ways that can assist you to make the right decisions and avoid a lot of disappointment and pain. The Spoiled Child Syndrome Were you an only child, or the first or last offspring who received a lot of attention from many family members? Or did you have a professional nanny to take care of you? Did you get everything you wanted whenever you wanted it? Do you believe that everything is coming to you and everyone should put their needs aside for you to be pleased? The Truth About You Why are so many people not fulfilling their potential? What is causing them to be unhappy, and to behave in destructive ways? A therapist tells us the answers and solutions. Beyond Sobriety Congratulations! Now that you are sober, you have released yourself from the bonds of your addiction. Now learn how you can take control of your life and live healthy and happy. What is Love? Discover what the word "love" really means. Find out the important difference between love and like and how it can improve all your relationships. Judges Anonymous Have you ever found yourself judging anyone, including yourself? Welcome to the human race! The phenomenon of judging -- deciding that someone is “not okay,”--is something most people do--including me. In fact, in my career as a therapist, I usually found that the few men and women who believed that they never judged anyone, were in denial. Warrior Vs. Spiritual Warrior What a dilemma! We see so much that angers and frighten us. We know that it is not right to abuse anybody or anything. We feel our hearts crying, “It’s supposed to be different!” Deep inside we know how to lovingly treat our brothers and sisters, ourselves, and beautiful mother earth. We know the universal values of honoring and respecting all. We want so much to make it all better. We want to make a difference, but the question is, “How”? How Do You Hug? Learning the art of hugging can improve our relationships and help us feel good and nourished with everyone we embrace. Love and nurturing is free, easy to give and receive and so necessary for our well being. Holiday Blues or Joy No matter what your life situation is, or how the past holiday seasons were, you can have a wonderful Christmas. As a Marriage, Family and Child Therapist for twenty-six years, I have helped many people transform their holiday blues to joy. The clients had many painful childhood memories of Christmas. The Power of Positive Thinking: Affirmations Our thoughts are magnetic--they draw to us whatever we are thinking. Positive thinking creates positive results. Negative thoughts attract negative experiences and keep us stuck. Many of our fear-based beliefs came from decisions we made from our experiences.