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Maurice Turmel PhD's Articles

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Bereavement Help Over my 25 years of professional practice I learned that grieving individuals had the hardest time dealing with their feelings of loss and the ensuing emotions that would come rushing to the fore. It’s true that grief, loss and bereavement are difficult experiences to transcend. But it is not true that this has to be an overwhelming and debilitating experience. It only seems so because so few of us are well versed in dealing with these effects. What is Grief Counselling? When I was in private practice I saw a lot of individuals who were grieving the loss of a loved one, whether that was a child, a spouse, a parent or a close friend. On a few occasions I saw couples where one of them had been diagnosed with a terminal condition and had less than 6 months to live. These situations were particularly traumatic for the persons involved, especially for the spouse who was not ill. The Real Stages of Grieving When people pose questions about the Stages of Grief Recovery they are often referred to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' Stages of Death. Her research showed what individuals would go through when receiving a "death sentence" from their doctor. In other words, they had a terminal condition and they were just given so many weeks or months, or perhaps years to live. Then they would go through 1) Denial; 2) Anger; 3) Bargaining; 4) Depression; and 5) Acceptance. In the media and on the net, these stages a Coping with Bereavement Loss The experience of bereavement is where you come to after the loss of a loved one has begun to work its way through your emotional landscape. Bereavement Help is about choosing resources to help you heal and recover from this emotional trauma. How to Deal with Feelings of Grief Ever wonder what it would be like to have a life without feeling? Would it be possible to enjoy anything at all? Could one be happy or sad without being in touch with their feelings? I would have to say impossible! Our feelings are our life blood. They fuel the energy that we create with. They tell us about our state of being, happiness or sadness, and everything in between. Our feelings are our life. They drive us. They unnerve us. They jostle us into action. How to Cope with a Relationship Breakup Breaking up with your lover, partner or spouse is a major event in your life. The consequences are not much different than losing a loved one through death. A relationship breakup is a death of sorts, the death of possibilities, a future together and plans that were spun around during your better days together. Feelings of loss, sadness and grief are common to the experience. What you go through is a period of mourning and bereavement over the death of possibilities. How to Cope with the Death of a Child Losing a child is one of life's biggest tragedies. All that promise, all those hopes, all those possibilities for a bright and successful future disappear in an instant. Whether you've lost a young child or a young adult child, the feeling of loss cuts deep. We are simply not programmed to deal with the death of a child. We accept the loss of parents and grandparents as inevitable. But losing a child, that's never something we expect to deal with. How to Cope with Death of a Parent Losing a parent is something we all have to face at some point in our lives. At a young age this is particularly difficult, so we rely on adults to show us how to grieve. Sadly, most adults are poor models of the grieving process as a whole. How to Cope with the Death of Your Spouse Losing a spouse is a devastating experience. Our friend, our partner, our soul mate is now gone and we are lost. It feels as if a part of us has died as well. In my practice, helping individuals deal with the loss of their partner was a common occurrence. Young or old, surviving spouses had an equally difficult time adjusting to this reality. How to Deal with Murder Grief Murder grief may be somewhat less difficult to deal with than suicide grief, simply because the answer to "why" always points to a third party rather than the deceased individual. Otherwise, the difference is akin to being hit in the head with a 5 pound sledge as opposed to a 10 pound sledge. Either of these will cause a lot of damage. The question of "why", in this case, leads us to try and understand the killer's motivation which rarely delivers a satisfactory answer. How to Deal with Suicide Grief Death due to suicide is probably the most complex grieving experience we ever have to deal with. When a loved one commits suicide we are left wondering Why? Over and over that simple question just keeps coming up - Why?