Tonight is my first night out with a mom’s group. As a single mom, I haven’t done much since having my baby. I don’t really know what to expect. I know I shouldn’t have any expectations, but it’s hard not to when you are going into an unfamiliar situation. I don’t know any of the ladies that will be there, and just like anyone else, I’m a bit nervous.
When we go to an event where we don’t know anyone or know only a couple of people, we are nervous. You want people to like you. And yes, I want people to like me too. There’s no guarantee they will. The only thing I can do is just to be myself, and they either like me or they don’t.
I put on my lip gloss and check myself in the rearview mirror. I change out of my mommy shoes, my black bow flats, and into silver sequin heels. It’s been so long since I’ve worn heels, I hope I don’t fall flat on my face as soon as I get out of my car. I open the door, and as I stand on my three inch heels, I feel like Bambi, my legs a bit wobbly with the first time in heels since having a baby.
I enter the Hibachi restaurant, surprisingly on time, and two ladies are sitting on the couch inside. I ask if they are with the mom’s group. It’s hard for me to believe I’m the third person to arrive. I’m never one of the first to arrive. Wow, miracles do happen!
I introduce myself and sit next to them. Other moms slowly arrive, and we are taken back to our seats. Since it’s Hibachi, the table is shaped in a “U” shape. So initially mini groups of two or three people are instinctively formed. I talk with a few ladies next to me, and find myself quickly revealing that I’m a single mom.
When I first had my son, I never thought I would volunteer being a single mom so fast. With society’s stigma associated with it, I thought I would hold that information in a little bit more. But as the months passed, I’ve realized I’m not embarrassed about being a single mom. I’m not ashamed that I chose having and keeping my baby over the other options. So if someone wants to judge me for being a single mom, that’s about them, not me. Now, if being a single mom comes up, I don’t shy away from expressing it.
As the night progresses and conversations continue, I relax and feel more comfortable. I’m able to be more “me”…inquisitive, expressive, and open. I begin to enjoy myself and the time more. What’s the point in going and being away from my son, if I’m not going to enjoy it?
Dinner concludes and we part ways. As I get settled in my car, I take a quick moment to reflect on the night. It is great to talk with other moms with young kids. I’m able to identify with them, their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s wonderful to know there are others out there like me, who just had their first baby, didn’t have all the answers, or are just downright clueless. It’s amazing to hear different stories, be able to share yours, and to just say, “I get it.”
I love meeting new people. But more importantly, I love connecting with people and knowing we are bonded if by nothing else than the love for our kids. Now if I could find a group of single moms like this, I’d really feel like I belong. I might just have to form one myself. Wow, what a difference that will make in the lives of single moms… to be included, supported, and connected with other single moms. Now, that’s exciting stuff!
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As a single mom and founder of The Single Mom Movement, Jessica Rector knows how single moms are overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed. With targeted private coaching, programs, and a school, she connects single moms to happiness, fulfillment, and empowerment by using her proven strategies. Clients praise Jessica for them experiencing massive results after one session.
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